Farewell Bob

Emmalee and Bob Circa 2000

Sadness and sorrow can cause the happy moments in life to stand out more sharply.  Tonight our family experienced some of that sadness and painful sorrow that caused us to reflect deeply on the happiness and joy we’ve experienced over the past fifteen years.  We reached the decision that it is time to let Bob go, to let him move past his pain and suffering.

Bob the dog joined our family in September of 2000.  We had just moved to Enid, Oklahoma and I talked Rochelle into letting us get a dog.  Bob was waiting for us to pick him up at the Humane Society in Stillwater, Oklahoma.  We weren’t sure what kind of dog we were looking for, but when we saw his family we knew we wanted him.  He is half Black Lab and half Dalmatian.  He was born in June of that year.  We picked him out of the litter.

Initially I planned to name him Sam.  I always wanted a dog named Sam even though I have a wonderful sister named Samantha.  Emmalee, however, had a different idea.  She had spent a couple of months in Malad where her Uncle Brett had a dog named Bob.  One-year-old Emmalee called him Bob repeatedly and the name stuck. 

Naturally Bob was sad to leave his siblings.  For several nights he whined and barked and whined some more.  Eventually he came to accept his new home and his new family.  He and Emmalee became fast friends.  As a puppy he was high energy.  He loved to run and jump.  We would spend hours in the back yard throwing the tennis ball up in the air so he could catch it.  As he grew he could jump higher and higher.  Sometimes he would jump so high that he would forget about the landing and just crash into the ground.  He loved to catch the ball as it bounced off the side of the house.  A few times he failed to slow down and crashed into the house. 

He developed an amazing skill as a bird, squirrel and cat hunter.  Any small animal or bird that transited or landed in our backyard was at risk.  Bob buried several small animals in that backyard.  He became good friends with our neighbor, Old Mary.  She loved to feed him scraps of meat.  Unfortunately he jumped on her one time for his treat and put a huge scratch on her arm that took months to heal.  She forgave him.

Bob wasn’t sure what to think of Gracee when we brought her home in September of 2001.  He walked up to her as she sat in her car seat, fresh from the hospital—he sniffed her and looked at us for reassurance that she was now part of the clan.  At first Gracee didn’t like Bob.  One weekend as we drove to a campground south of Norman, Oklahoma, Bob jumped on Gracee in the back of the car.  He was scared of the drive and he scared her terribly.  It took her awhile to decide she liked him.

Bob’s first camping trip was exciting.  An armadillo walked into and through our camp.  It took several minutes to make the trip and Bob barked the entire time.

Our family moved to the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs in 2003.  Bob handled the move well, enjoying the cooler summers and the hiking trails on the Academy.  On one hike Bob and I spooked a black bear.  We heard it run away through the trees and found its tracks.  Luckily Bob managed to survive the occasional bear wandering through the housing area and the mountain lions.

Early one morning he had a terrible run-in with nature.  All of us were asleep when Bob started to bark loudly at the back door.  Bob rarely ever barked, so in my sleep-fogged brain, I assumed he needed to go outside to take care of business.  As I opened the back door, he dove out and I immediately realized my mistake.  A skunk bolted from his small kennel. 

In the time it took me to yell, “Bob! No!” he had jumped off the porch, grabbed the skunk by the tail, taken the full brunt of the spray, and then jumped back through the sliding glass door I was trying to close.  As the pungent skunk musk overwhelmed me, Bob was rubbing his face frantically on the carpet and the couch to get it out of his eyes, mouth, and nose.  It took days for the odor to fade and Bob endured a few hydrogen peroxide and baking soda baths, but eventually we recovered.

As the first Colorado winter hit we decided that Bob needed a fancy doghouse to stay warm in the back yard.  I used it as justification to buy a circular saw and a few other tools.  To date that doghouse is the largest and most successful carpentry production I’ve done on my own.

In June of 2004 we brought Elijah home from the hospital.  Again Bob looked up at us as if to ask if we were certain an addition was a good thing.  They fast became friends.

Living in Colorado we were able to travel back to Idaho and Utah to visit family on a regular basis.  At first I was worried about how Bob would travel.  Before the first trip I got a hold of some motion sickness pills for him.  We used them for the first couple of trips and didn’t need them after that.  Bob was an expert traveller.  He needed fewer bathroom breaks than the children and hardly ever complained.  Bob loved to stop at the rest area in Glenwood Springs Canyon to play in the Colorado River and walk along the trails. 

During this time Bob also started to spend extended periods of time in Provo with Grandma Kris.  She spoiled him.  Grandma Ann spoiled him and Joyce Daybell spoiled him.  They became some of his best friends as they fed him treat after treat.  A diet was always required after a couple of weeks in Provo.  Bob and my dad, however, didn’t always see eye to eye.  While Bob was never mean or violent with anyone, he could get revenge in very creative ways.  On one occasion, after my dad yelled at him, Bob took his time tearing up carpet padding in the carport.

Bob moved with us to Monterey, CA in 2005.  Our yard was a lot smaller and was covered in bark, so the living conditions weren’t quite as nice for him.  To make it up to him I made Bob my regular running partner.  It was tough, but somehow we survived those miles and miles up and down the beach.  He loved to scatter the geese in the park on our way to the coastal trail.  Bob and I quickly go to where we could run seven miles at a time.  Bob would get thrilled each time he saw me putting on my running shoes.  If I ran without him, he wouldn’t look at me for hours after I returned.  His second most favorite running partner was Rochelle's sister Amanda.

In March of 2007 Bob and Isaiah met each other for the first time.  He seemed to shake his head at us after he sniffed the new addition.

Bob inherited a large backyard when we moved back to Colorado Springs in 2008.  He had soft grass, a deck, and a garden.  He was courteous to us and did all of his business in one small area of the lawn.  It made it easy to clean.  Bob enjoyed our expanding garden and showed it by eating the leaves off of several plants and chewing on any type of squash.  (He chewed up my mom’s zucchini on one or two occasions.)

Each summer we would go camping with Rochelle’s family on the Jackson Family Ranch on the Bear River.  Bob loved the camping trips.  He would run from the ranch house down to the river.  Once there he followed everyone everywhere.  He went fishing with us, he followed us when we floated the river, and he followed us on our ATV rides.  He crossed the river more times than any of us on those trips.  Often, by the end of the day, he was too tired to eat the leftovers.  Two things scared him when we camped—gunfire and sleeping alone outside at night.  One time he jumped into the front of Uncle Robert’s truck to hide from the sounds of gunfire.  At night he would try to get into the tents early or push his way in.  Bob also loved to warm himself next to the campfire each night.

Lightning and thunder and fireworks would quickly bring Bob into the house or the tent.

In May of 2010 Bob met Elizabeth.  Elizabeth became one of Bob’s greatest sources of food.  She dropped her food onto the floor from her chair.  Bob sat under her and ate everything.

After Bob moved to Henderson with us in 2011 he learned to love the mild winters and indoor air conditioning.  For the past four years he has spent a lot of time in the house, enjoying long naps.  His favorite activity was to greet each of Rochelle’s piano students.  They loved to pet him and he loved to be petted.  He brought smiles several times each day to these wonderful young people. 

In 2012 he met Clara.  Their relationship was a challenge for both of them—one a bit grumpy and the other always trying to steal some food. 

Bob camped at the river with us the last few years.  He no longer ran as much, but was content to take short walks and long naps.  He even took to riding in the truck from the ranch house down to the river.  With the Vegas Valley heat, he has appreciated his summers in Provo even more.

The problem with loving so much is that it enables you to hurt so much.  Bob has been our friend for almost 15 years.  None of my six children know what life is like without him.  He has always been there, always ready to go for a walk, to snuggle, or to make sure someone is feeling happy.  After watching Bob experience the pains, aches and illnesses that go with old age, we knew the time to say farewell was approaching.  But we were selfish.  We didn’t want to face life without him.  He waited for us patiently to come to terms with the passage of time.  

He lost most of his hearing but could always hear when Elizabeth called him.  

Last night we accepted the need to let him go.  After consulting with Emmalee we informed the rest of the children that today would be the day.  Each of us cried, except for Clara, cried and hugged him gently.  It seemed almost as if he knew what was happening.  Clara was concerned with our sadness and she tried to comfort us.  All of the children, with the exception of Clara again, slept with Bob on the living room floor for his last night with us.  He wagged his tail, as they laid out their blankets and pillows, anxious for the opportunity to spend the night with them again.  As he was always wont to do, he laid right in the middle of Elizabeth’s blanket. 

Emmalee was brave and strong today.  She went with Bob on his last ride today. 

Christlike Service

I gave this talk in Ward Conference on Sunday, January 11, 2015.  I thought this would be a good place to share it with the family.  Honestly I didn't remember it was Steven's birthday until last night.  I thought it was wonderful that I included him and the blessings he brought into our family in a talk I gave on his birthday without even realizing it.

Serving God by Serving One Another

Our God is a God of service.  His work and his glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of us, His children.  Our Savior lived a perfect life of service.  We are called to engage in the same work.  We are called to serve and assist one another in obtaining immortality and eternal life as well as joy in this life.

The mutual theme for 2015 is counsel on how we should serve God.  It is found in Doctrine & Covenants 4:2 it states:

“Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day.”

President Hinckley taught that “Of all people, we must surely realize that there can be no true worship of Him who is the Christ without giving of ourselves.”  And on another occasion he said:

“We have some of our own who cry out in pain and suffering and loneliness and fear.  Ours is a great and solemn duty to reach out and help them, to lift them, to feed them if they are hungry, to nurture their spirits if they thirst for truth and righteousness.”

In what manner are we to serve God?  With “all [our] heart, might, mind and strength.”

How do we serve God?  As King Benjamin taught, we serve God by serving one another.  He said:

“And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.”

We are to serve God by serving one another “with all [our] heart, might, mind and strength.”  And for how long are we supposed to serve with this level of effort?  Alma teaches us in Mosiah 18 that we are:

“…to serve him until you are dead as to the natural body.”

All of you look alive still.  I think everyone in this room is breathing and capable of some type of service.  A few days after her surgery, Sister Joyce Reese sent me a message to complete one of her assignments from the hospital.  It was an assignment that she could have passed on to anyone of us.  Instead she chose to give service while she was in pain.

Whom should we serve?  When should we serve?  Where should we serve?

We should serve in the family, in the ward, in the temple, and in the community.   We should serve when we are aware of a need.  We should serve when we are prompted.  We should serve when assigned.  We should provide service wisely and where and how it is needed. 

Our acts of service may be large or small, but they can all be meaningful and consequential. 

Brothers and Sisters we must also be willing to accept service.  Sometimes it will be needed, sometimes it won’t.  By accepting it we will be blessed and allow blessings to be granted to others.

Please permit me to share some personal examples of service.  As I share I ask you to please listen with the Spirit that you might learn whom, when, and where you should serve.  I encourage, that when the prompting comes, that you write it down so you can act on it.

Many of you in this ward have been the recipients of service from Kelly Webb, sometimes when you needed it and sometimes just because he was ready to provide it.  He has fixed leaks, replaced sprinkler systems, laid sod, provided blessings, packed and unpacked trailers and vehicles for Girls Camp and Boy Scout Camp.  He puts up tables.  He takes tables down.  When in doubt, Kelly helps.  Kelly gives the Lord his best.  He helps because he is a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ and honors the priesthood he holds.  Kelly Webb is an example that each of us should follow in how we give service.

I also think of Shelley Davis.  She is always quick to provide a thank you not for service, a thank you note that is accompanied by a delicious treat.  Two years ago, after Clara was born, Sister Davis brought over an amazing meal.  I told Rochelle that it made me consider having a seventh child so we could have another one of her meals.

On my mission we were expected to provide one or two hours of service each week.  Typically we taught English, but occasionally we found other ways to serve.  We helped a member move a piano down the stairs and up the stairs from the ninth floor in one building to the ninth floor in a different building.  We made sandwiches for the homeless and beggars.  We repaired library books and cleaned up schoolyards.  Once my companion and I spent over an hour pushing car after car out of the snow in the courtyard of an apartment.  On another occasion we set down our backpacks to help a young husband and wife move bags of potatoes from vehicle to a cellar.  I think they were afraid we were going to walk away with a bag or two.  I loved the challenge of finding and doing meaningful acts of service each week.  Each of us should be actively engaged in looking for opportunities to serve.

Children are a blessing.  A large part of the blessing comes from the challenge of raising children.  Personally, I don’t mind feeding children, but it can be overwhelming when you realize they want to eat three times a day, every day.  I’m amazed at the service that occurs in our homes.  As a young boy I watched for two years as my mother cared unceasingly for my disabled baby brother.  We knew he would never speak.  We knew he probably would never be able to walk or take care of himself in any significant way.  My mother, who was not raised in a gentle and loving home, exhibited angelic love and patience.  Her best reward was when my brother would smile at her.  He was taken home to his Heavenly Father shortly before his second birthday.  I’m grateful for the service provided by my mother.  I’m also grateful for the service that my brother Steven so freely gave to our family.  His short life brought my mother fully into the gospel.  The home is the greatest laboratory for growth through loving service.

Children and youth, think of the service your parents provide for you each day.  What do you do for parents and brothers and sisters?  How can you provide meaningful service in your homes?  First, you can obey and respect your parents.  Second, you can be kind to your brothers and sisters and work hard to help them be happy.  Are you doing what Jesus wants you to do in the home?

Brothers and sisters, I am so grateful for those of you who act as the Spirit prompts you.  Twice in this last year my life has been blessed in miraculous ways by your acts of thoughtful kindness.  One day, in the midst of some personal struggle with feelings of anger, I received a text from one of you expressing gratitude for something.  Recently I expressed my desire to my Heavenly Father to be able to speak with someone regarding some personal frustrations.  That evening a good brother in our ward, who had just completed a priesthood assignment sat in my office to report on his work.  As he completed the report he asked the very questions that I had told Heavenly Father I needed to discuss.  The Lord will act through us if we are prepared, listening, and willing to act.

During a Youth Conference when I was a young man in Pensacola, Florida we planned a service project at the home of an elderly sister in our ward.  This wonderful and kind sister had a yard in need of serious work.  Over thirty youth descended on it with rakes, shovels, clippers, and garbage bags.  During our two hours there, the entire neighborhood gathered around to watch.  You see, this sister was black and she lived in a predominantly black neighborhood.  Her neighbors were shocked at the site of thirty white youth working in a run down yard in a run down neighborhood.  As the crowd grew larger, some of us became a bit worried as we looked around.  I remember standing there as this old lady moved quickly from her front porch to the fence.  She yelled at her neighbors,

“Why aren’t any of you over here helping?  All of you telling me I shouldn’t be going to this church because of the color of my skin.  They know what it means to follow Jesus.  You should be helping.”

Turning around she looked at us and said, “I love all of you so much.”  Our service has the potential to impact the lives of many people in a very positive way.

God gives each of us challenges, some of which seem unbearable without the help of others.  My father-in-law, Rauhn, was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer when my wife was a junior in high school.  During the months of treatment and uncertainty the other family members stepped up to work on the small farm.  My wife and her brother took care of the lambing during the cold winter and spring.  At one of his lowest points, Rauhn received much needed help from an inspired bishop.  A barn sat at the back of the property with a roof but no walls.  Despite protests the bishop arranged for the purchase of the material required to wall in the barn.  He organized other loving and willing ward members and neighbors to join in the project.  Unable to help, barely able to care about the important things in his life, Rauhn watched as these good men put up the walls.  Today a red barn, visible from town, stands on the property.  Inscribed on the walls inside the barn are the names of those good men.  That act of service provided the spiritual and emotional lift that Rauhn needed to bring back a sense of purpose and strength to his life.  I’m grateful he is with us today to teach and love my children.  As those men drive by that red barn they are able to remember the joy that comes from meaningful service.

Service provided at the right time and in the right way has the potential to not only change lives but to save lives.  It has the potential to bring spiritual, emotional, and physical healing.

An amazing amount of service is provided in the Whitney Ranch Ward.  I am awed at the wonderful things you do for one another, both in your families and in the ward.  We serve in the temple and we serve in our communities.  Each of us can do better.

We must avoid the human desire to withhold our help when we assume that someone’s need is a result of their own poor decisions.  In the last General Conference, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland shared the following:

“Perhaps some have created their own difficulties, but don’t the rest of us do exactly the same thing?  Isn’t that why this compassionate ruler asks, ‘Are we not all beggars?’  Don’t we all cry out for help and hope and answers to prayers?  Don’t we all beg for forgiveness for mistakes we have made and troubles we have caused?  Don’t we all implore that grace will compensate for our weaknesses, that mercy will triumph over justice at least in our case?  Little wonder that King Benjamin says we obtain a remission of our sins by pleading to God, who compassionately responds, but we retain a remission of our sins by compassionately responding to the poor who plead to us.”

Christ like service is so important for those in need and it is essential to our own salvation and eternal progression.  Our goal is to become like our Savior Jesus Christ.  His entire purpose is to serve, save, and exalt others.  That must become the focus of our existence if we want to become like him.

Please look for and act on opportunities to serve.  Listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.  Respond to priesthood assignments to serve.  Please pay your fast offerings, being as generous as you can be when possible.  Please go forward today with the intent to provide greater and more consistent service.